Yes i'm at home... Again...
I just wanna respond to someone else's blog that no i do not think that you are an unresponsible member and that you suck... To the contrary... I already admitted that i'm a lousy SL... I can't play the sop, alto and bass parts for my yr1s to hear, unlike those with grades 7 or 8. I can only play MY part... If that is not enough, then what to do? I try to sing the parts.. But apparently this would not work as i distract them... Somehow, i feel like others look down on me, are prejudiced against me just cos i can't handle this post well... And in response to that, i get someone who can play the sop, alto and bass part to teach my members... And this is met with remarks and others stare at me with coloured eyes... All this i take it into account and forget about it... Cos this is the last i can do... Concert is in 10 days time and with me continuingly stumbling over the keys on the keyboard, i'd rather get someone who CAN play to play... I'll just sit beside and tell them what to do here and there, whether to sing it lightly or to sing it strong... You know telling them all this and then just getting nods and stares is very frustrating? I get them to hold a pencil... Do they use it? I tell them to write it down... Do they follow it? And when ppl start coming up to me and giving me the impression that i'm a lazy bum, you know how much it affects me? My low self esteem collapses, my confidence that i try to portray crumbles... I'm reduced to sitting there and shutting up... Feeling like a useless piece of trash.. You think i dun worry about the choir? You think i just do my thing and then bugger off? I worry... I cry... Seriously... but you think its for all the world to see? Choir was once the only thing that kept me going... In times of depression, choir kept me upbeat... Now, even though its in such a state, i try to make things better... I have let them relax enough and now am trying to be stricter with them... And this is wrong? Encourage... Sure i do... But this has led me to recieve ridiculous replies telling to to take myself and my sectionals and bug off. Don't you think i blame myself too? Am i doing it correctly? Why don't they learn? Is it me? And when nelson scolds, i take it all into myself... Blaming myself... I know how you feel you know... But it doesn't help to be sarcastic all the time... You'd end up hurting people... Or maybe its because i'm detestable... I have never said i'm giving up... I'm tired... Sure i am... Who wouldn't be? I dun see the sops and altos having this problem... you would never know how i feel... Sls are the bridge of the choir.. They are like Students councils in the school... They lead each member to bond and join together in one voice... And when the section fails, its the SL's fault... You don;t see Simon Reynolds blaming himself for any mistakes? Its always the councillors who get blamed... Even though this year has not been a good year as of yet, i try... I have never absented myself from choir... Not once... Even when i'm sick and can't sing, i am still present... Why? I dunno... Choir is too important to me to miss i guess... Even if i miss school, i'll come back for choir... This is the commitment that is not seen by anyone else... And i dun parade it around... You think i go around telling ppl i got 100% attendance back in VS? Unlike a certain someboday that is a pro in piano and is confidant of himself and his skills, i'm a failure... I have nothing to be confidant in... i appointed him to teach so as to feel less useless... At least my section is learning something out of my inactivity and its because of this fact that i asked him to take over... I'm disappointed... But what can i do? Brood over it? Nah... I hope to forget it... Start afresh during camp...
And i suck at paragraphing... Anyway, i know most people wun bother reading this whole chunk...
Yes... Back to me ranting again..
But first, i wanna tell ypu people that i got into songfest.. For the Solo and Group category... So buy ur songfest tickets NOW cos you will not get to see me join such a competition in the near future...
Ok... Back to my rants... Well, i KNOW for a fact that i'm a lousy SL... I can't play the piano, i cannot teach, i can't lead... What good am i as an SL? I did not nomintae MYSELF and now that i'm one, i DO try hard... But with my section being in such a depressing state, no matter how hard i try, they still dun get it... I'm tired you know... Tired of choir, tired of teaching, tired of playing the piano wrongly, tired of tone deaf year ones who dun learn... TIRED... And people still come up to me and accuse me of SLACKING AWAY WHILE SOME ELSE SLOG AWAY... Thx ar...
I hold one on one,
I make an effort to painstakingly play the piano for them to hear and tried to make as little mistakes as possible and
I bear the blame if they dunno how to sing... I'M SLACKING?
Hiya peeps! Yes... Happy birthday to me... Its a good day... Class was alright althou it was a LONG day, choir was surprisingly pleasant, except for the teaching of the dikir barat to certain uncoordinated ppl and dinner was tasty...
I wanna extend a big thanks to my classmates and choirmates who treated me nicely today... Well-wishes just kept on pouring in... So touched... And my classmates gave my this ah beng looking silver bracelet which is damn heavy... And they put it in a pink flower box... Thx huh guys... And Seri and FiQ gave me a box of Ferrero Rocher... Damn i got sore throat for 2 weeks already.. Nvm... Shall keep it! Lolx...
I still expecting presents from some ppl huh... Haha... Must give ok... NO EXCUSE... Kidding... Dun give nvm la... Its the thought that counts... (Yea RITE)... Very shagged now... Signing off...
I'm 18 now! must mature! heck... i wanna stay childish!
Happy Birthday to ME,
Happy Birthday to ME,
Happy Birthday to DEAR ME...
Happy Birthday to me!
Cmon y'all!
Happy Birthday to ME,
Happy Birthday to ME,
Happy Birthday to DEAR ME...
Happy Birthday to me!
My wish for today... Dun get screwed by nelson and that tenors can pull through... Oh... And to get many many presents! Haha...
Listen up ppl... I'm officially PISSED with the YEar 1s in my section... Their attitudes are not unlike shit... Have you heard of ppl threatening SLs just cos the SLs want sectionals? I'm so going to just condemn ppl in this entry... I dun care who reads it...
The characters in this next narrative are absolutely non-fictional and any close resemblance to any relatives or friends are completely on purpose.
My first mass sms to the tenors went something like this...
"Do you ppl still need sectionals tmr? Bearing in mind nelson wants us to memorize the songs by the next choir practice..."
I was on the MRT going home... And i suddenly though about the impending pract with nelson, so i was scared that the yr1s were worried about not knowing their songs, so i smsed them out of the kindness of my heart and out of the pockets of my dad..(He's paying my hp bills... IF they're not too high... One mass sending to the Tenors is 7 sms.)
SMSes like these started pouring in...
1.
"I got competition tmr..." Uhuh... So whats your excuse? Telling competition is like telling me that your sick... STOP TELLING ME NONSENSE WHICH I KNOW IS NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW I KNOW ITS NOT TRUE...
2.
"No thx... No no..."
To which i replied,
"You sure you can handle all the songs? There are nine... Everyone has to know all of them..."
Reply was,
"Can la... I'm new leh..."
By this time i already quite pissed with his attitiude already and i replied,
"So? Concert is on 2nd may, just cos u joined a week later, does not mean that the concert's gonna be a week later..."
And he THREATENED ME by saying
"WHATEVER LA... I CANNOT...I GOT ALOT OF THINGS TO DO NEXT WEEK... IF U WANT TO HAVE PRACT TMR, THEN I DUN GO TO CAMP LOR..."
Fine... I du lan din reply le...
3.
"Eh how about the others? And when i replied something like
"What about YOU?" He din even bother to reply...
4.
"No, i have something on after school..." WOW! Thats ALOT of info!
I replied,
"Is it very important? Can it be cancelled?"
And he happily replied
"Tuition. Is the sectionals very important?" Oh NO NO NO... Please skip it... Oh and did i mention nelson wants us to memorize the bloody songs? You dun even KNOW HOW TO SING THEM...
5. Wanna hear the MOST DRAMATIC REPLY? Hold on to your socks cos your in for a ride!
"i'm fine with anything la... too sad liao... y muz u sms me when i'm crying? i'm watching NKF... can sms a time when i'm emotionally stronger?"
W.T.F.
Nice hor my little section.. And bendini thinks he's got problems with HIS section... At least more than 5 ppl turned up ok... And ppl, dun think i'm too blatant by typing those 5 replies here... Just thank me i never include names, although its quite obvious...
Dun fuck me up more than i am now...
Whats wif ppl in the library? This guy, purposely let his non-polyphonic ringtone ring for like 10 seconds before answering the phone in a whisper... I was like, WTH... You let that jarring thing play and play then you proceed to speak in hushed tones... WHY BOTHER?
Argh... I'm sinning... Sore throat, still eat chocolates... Still eat cookies... Still EAT... Sian... Next week is the auditions for songfest group category and i have to be on form for Jean, Bendini, Jaja, Ivy, Meixia, Yun Jun and Hongyi... Haha... So many wor... I'm dead.. I can't possibly hit all the Josh Groban notes with this throat of mine... Not as if i could reach it on good days la...
Hmmm... Choir... Not too bad la... Just that year ones are here, must teach... And well, seriously, i dun think they are receptive at all lor... Teach they dun learn... Dun teach they come kah jiao me... Argh... Anyway, they all bordering on tone deafness anyway lor... Not that i'm any good... My throat still hurts... Man....
There's choir CIP tmr... We're going to sing at some cheapo void deck function... All the aunties and uncles will be dumbstruck by our non-english songs... Struck to dumbness... Sian.. My dad is addicted to GUNBOUND... Can you ppl believe it? I just logged in ten mins ago cos my dad played till now...
Well, today was a busy busy day, as i had mentioned... Woke up today with a sore throat and a bad tummy... Oh no... So not on top form today... Sang the song without much passion while practising it... Damn scary man... When it was my turn, i went in and stunned... It was the GP replacement teacher from hell! Anyway, i think i sucked! Was damn unstable at entries, sang the whole of first verse without looking at the judges and i had my hands in my pockets... GROSS! I was trying to make up for my lack of eye contact in verses 2 and 3... Trying to look at ll the judges... Hope i tried correctly.. Well, the results will only be out after the WHOLE auditioning, which includes group and band categories...
Gross...
I just got home actually... From the VS concert... Which i tot was a JOKE... A funny JOKE... I was laughing my way through it... So were everyone else... Its damn CHEAPO... The songs are like all pop songs converts... Can't help falling in love with you? What a wonderful world? Ouch! And the soloists used MIKES... Like what choir concert use mikes lor? Its called Choir for a reason... If not just say Karaoke Club or something... This is Victoria School for petes sake, not some Vidal Sasoon Choir lor... Anyway, their musical was a joke too... It was more of a Medley of The Hunchback of Notre Dame songs rather than a musical... Like when it ended, all of us went like, "Thats all?!?!" Argh! I'm quite embarrassed la... I mean, last min work la, but also can do better right... Whats worse is that Nelson is pleased?!?! Anyway, I met quite a few ppl.. I even saw Xinyi there lor... Aiyoh... I was so paiseh... Like, my ex choir lor... And this is what it has become... The amount of Sops and Altos alone is already more than the whole of TPchoir lor... I'm disgusted... And Jerome said tt they sound like Daikin... You know? The aircon brand... "Mines a Daikin..."
Wah lau... I got 17 tix that i sold, but i have not a single cent... Like am i going to have to pay 200 plus bucks by myself? Fumes.. I owe KW 50 bucks... This is why i hate owing ppl money... It all adds up lor...
Shd i go school? I shall wake up and decide... So evil... Last week i also pon Thursday... See how la...
Me nervous abt songfest results... Hope i get into finals...
Today was a much much better day i must say... Other than the last 2 Raynox periods, the day has been great... Went choir room to slack and practise for songfest with Jean... Songfest auditions for the solo category is tmr... Dead... I have not nailed my entries... Damn... And i sincerely hope that that
JIAN REN is not one of the judges... I'll puke milk at him... Tu4 nai3... I'm gonna sing "Your Song", operatic man included... Haha...
Tenors... My god... They really live up to their names as
Tehnors... Aiks... Basses have less freaks lor... Ha.. Hope no one reads this.. Anyway, choir is gonna be in such a rush already... Need to teach yr ones EVERYTHING including dance moves by 2nd May... Its impossible... Gross... Like if they dun even open their mouths to sing, how to do it?
Anyway, tmr is a busy busy day... Not only i have songfest auditions, i have sectionals and also The VS choir concert... Gross! I'm going to go le... Exhausted and no more things le...
Anger...
My mood today... Ha! MRS TOH I CURSE YOU! BURN IN HELL IN ALL ETERNITY FOR GP TUTORS! So what if i'm gonna fail GP? Not as if i can pass my other subjects... WHY THE HELL ARE U PINPOINTING ME IN CLASS? SCREAMING MY NAME? MAKING ME JUMP... COUNTING DOWN FROM 5-4-3-2-1 FOR ME TO ANSWER A QUESTION... U'RE A WHORE. ME GONNA USE BAD ENGRISH FOR ME ENTRY NOW. COS I BOUT TO EXPLODE. ME THINKS ME SHOULD SKIP GP FOR AWHILE....
Yo...
Long time since i've updated... Well, today's sunday... And i'm at my most alert in the whole day... I was dozing off everytime i was on the bus, the MRT or even sitting around... Gross... I'm truly a night person.. I wanna be an owl in my next life... Aint it fun? Swooping low without making so much as a rustle, den diving down into the grass and fly up again with a rat in my claws... Haha... The rat part abit gross... But i wanna be a bird! I wanna FLY! Actually, i wun mind being a cat too... Feeling the gracefulness of a cat and looking at those pink blobs of flesh wobbling on two legs, about to fall front or back at any moment... Yes... Four legs are so much better... Although hands would be a plus... WAIT A MIN! I can be Stitch! It has retractable hands or feet, it can look like a dog, a cat, an alien and even Elvis... What more would i want...? Stitch-y.. Argh.. Thats what a ger calls me.. Stitch-y... What i gross nickname... Ok... Enuff bout fantasizing...
Ppl's been asking me what i want for my birthday... Like how the hell am i going to tell them? Erm, well, there's this mambo shop in Heeren and there's a watch on display that i really like. It has an orange face and metal strap and it goes for $249... How about that? LoLx... Oh, you can throw in a Mogu or two along with it... LoLx... Isn't Mogus just H-E-A-V-E-N-L-Y? I melt in them man! I'm definitely getting a Mogu... And proper jeans! I've bought this baby blue tee from Far East... Only $19.90... Cheap man! Anyway, if the item is above $35, i wun buy... Lolx... Cheapo man... Anyway, my point is that i need to buy at least one jeans to match the tees anh shirts i'm gonna get! My wardrobe is amazingly useless for a full one... It all consists of clothes i'll never wear in a million years, if i ever get to live that long... Anyway, i got no tee... I only got 2 decent polo shirts... And i'm like recycling them over and over... I'm polo man... Lets not turn this entry into a boutique catalogue shall we?
Hows my tenor year ones? Well, only got 5... And well... Most of them are quite questionable... I shall not make anything distinct for fear of backlash... LoLx... Anyway, 5 is DAMN PATHETIC... Basses got like 10? I dunno.. BUt i know they got MORE! Why modern guys nowadays cannot hit high notes? Is the rumbly sound in? Well, heck it... I'll just stun the audience at Sonfest with my high operatic/broadway sounding voice... That is IF i get into the finals... Solo i'm damn afraid... Group, well, one group has been practising VERY hard and i'm really hope that finals will materialise for us... As for the other group, i can't really see where everything is heading... And i can say that i'm worried... I mean, put individuals who can sing on a stage inpromptu-ly and ask them to sing such a vocally demanding song, i doubt it will go down well with whoever is judging the auditions... And its not as if they are the school's versions of Simon, Paula and Randy... They are just councillors... I'm not sure about this, but if a piece of good music hits them in the crotch, i really doubt they will even notice...
As i'm reading back the last 3 paragraphs, i realise i'm power at deviating from the original topic sentence... I'm POWERFUL man! GP sure fail... I'm getting C6 anyway... Might as well let me fail and retain?
Depressed... But no! I wanna watch 10000000 movies... The Passion!!! I wanna watch!!! I'm not 18......... But if others can go in, why can't i? My birthday this month what! Hurmph!
Jean, William Hung is gross... Get over him already... Go back to Nemo mode... Even Maritess is more tolerable...
Argh! Auditions for solo is on WEdnesday... I still can't nail the entries right... Cos the Music is not helping... Have to feel da song... You know what i'm saying? I feel you man... You da DAWG!